Finding a job and finding what i want to do in life

Dear me,

Something important happened yesterday. I know you always believed in attracting what you think about. And recently you have been concerned with finding a relevation to what you should be doing in life. Amazing isnt it? You were always the type who when people walks to the right, you want to take a look at the left. There were options available to you but you just didnt believe in them fully enough to act on them or particularly inspirated by them. You always wanted to find meaning, in what you were doing. 

Your job or the lack of one dilemma  was constantly derailed by factors weighing between them; the salary (of which would be to accept a diploma pay at this point?), exposure (should i walk the way of a marketing career just because I think im interested but never fully qualified?) or just plain lack of confidence in a new position.

There were things you wanted to do, but you never found the reason, conviction or meaning to believe in them. At that point, they were merely ideas, an ideal projection of what you were to be. They were also still ideas because you could not  bridge the present (circumstances) and that ideal. You were frustrated but you didnt just want to follow the herd. You wanted to find out for yourself. And that’s why you were always a few years off in everything. You overanalysed. You tried to plan. You waited. You procastinated.

What happened? Something pushed that idea into the infant stage, from a mere vague image to something concrete, something to work for. 

If you know what you’re look for, you will find it eventually. Me? I like to keep the question in me so that as I move along, bits and pieces of the answer starts showing up. And showed up it did. But you have to expose yourself to find them. Talk to people. Interact.

On a certain level, the answers that manifest were like a shiny object that just caught the mind’s sight. It may not have any use at that point but eventually you find a catalyst that just reveals the true value of each gem in the quest.

Its amazing, you ask for apples and sometimes life just gives you something else. You wanted to know what is it you should be doing, and it brings up some ideal and  belief that you had and tells you that is your goal.

 

This is the story:

An job interviewer took a look a look at my ‘O’ levels and commented my Maths was good. My story was that I didnt care if my Maths was good or not. I didnt wanted to pursue an academic life and especially in the areas of Academic Science. I was always more concerned about the ‘Arts’, the Human Communication (or so I thought). I thought of the Science field as rigid, conclusive and I wanted interactivity. (or so I thought)

I always had the notion that the government job was a noble intent with stability. But sometimes its inner workings can be a damper to one’s beliefs. I finally understood why Public Servants find it hard to work in the Private sector; too much KPIs, red tapes, decision making, burucratic power play in question. To a certain extent, incompetitive in certain sectors. But the real downpour was that sometimes you can never climb in the organization because of age as you are not the ‘identified’ bunch selected to moved into top management. Worst off, you could be struck below in middle management and never get the chance because upper management are too fat to move.

My friend told me you can never plan too much because sometimes things never go according to plan. Your next career move could be worst off than your previous one. And the previous job could be more stable. The point is, even if you planned what to do, it might not be a bed of roses. That deflated the myth of trying to find a perfect job.

Charlie “Tremedous” Jones said in his book “Life is Tremendous”, “Learn(ing) to get excited about your work”. He replied when quired that he hated what he do and what he really liked was to relax, talk about work. Go for vacations, conventions, commissions, salary increases. But all he gets are headaches, headaches and headaches. Everyone likes to relax, you especially. But that is all that makes the difference, learning to get excited about your work. Work is never fun and sometimes full of stress. Take joy where you can find it, one of friends say. Well, it doesnt matter what I do pretty much then, perfect-job-myth-debusted number 2. 

The caltayst that sparks it all. Read an article “Do it now” by Steve Pavlina who graduated with two Bachelor of Science Dgrees in just three semester. There was a part when he says in the Tae Kwon Do studio where he trained, there’s a huge sign on the wall that says, “Your goal is to becomes a black belt”. This helps to remind the students why s/he is going through such difficult training. Asking oneself, “What exactly is it that I’m trying to accomplish here?” Coupled this with Steve’s article on time management inspires a certain you-can- do-it regardless of how old you are or if you think you’re time-disadvantaged. It was the inspiration I needed and it sparked my goal.

The goal was a belief a always envisioned; in order to life comfortably I knew there was no point working for others. I would use my knowledge in the world of investments. I was exposed to financial articles in my teens and thus also understand that the global economy was the way to go. I always imagined either trading at home to earn the big bucks or earning my pay as an investment banker. But my path in life did not facilitate that; from a science stream, I went and took up computing in my tertiary years before diverting to a Arts degree. Not exactly, a business or financial route. And I couldnt find any motivation to change the situation until now. I have a goal. And i found something else by chance.

I decided to google CFA and found out that people could land in an investment job with just CFA qualifications. But i think that is the exception than the norm. It helps that you’re from the financial industry. and it wont be a piece of cake for a non-finance student like me. In a way, the CFA is like an upgrade process for me, something to work for. And i think that is how i found meaning.

 In retrospect, sometimes you just need people to appraise you, to help you see things you could have been good at but overlooked due to beliefs or oversight. It doesnt really matter what i do now at the moment, because my foresight in the job after I completed my CFA. On hindsight, sometimes life is a big detour, taking a big difference from what you studied and what you would be doing. The degree wasnt a mistake, it was a degree and it could pay me degree pay. And i freed me in the expectations of jobs i would be doing with the degree because my longer term goal is in the investment world.

I hope you’re working hard towards your CFA now.

Wall.E

Disappointed. Going the normal storylines of typically Walt-Disney, Hollywoood-action-romance genre. Animations used to be about the funny, corny and lame. At least thats what I look for. Look at the animation in ‘Creature Comforts’. (at least thats they kind of animation and cornyess Im looking for)

No, it went the typically Walt Disney fairy tale of some unprivilaged class longing for ‘true love’ of the aristocratic. What happened to the likes of Shrek aka anti-hero? Pixar had to go this direction.  I thought they would come up with something more innovative in a film about robots. 

Here you see the typically class divides, male falls madly-head-over-heels with the female, the class difference; Wall-e is the underdog who has this uncanny dying love for the highly-sophisicated Eva. The male becomes emotionally attached and the female is a directive obeying drone who finally un-surprising craves in after the male gives his life to fulfil HER objectives. So guys, please give your organs away in order to trade for the final-realisation by the female species. It is these films that typically sterotypes the females to want to expect something from the opposite sex and that the male gender will eventually get her if he helps her fulfil her cause. Does Wall.e knows what the purpose of submitting the plant to captain is for? Nil. He only knows its Eva’s directive. He does not know it is bring the people back to earth. Typical brainwashing. How many times did they both communicated without all the danger and drama? And Wall.e falls in love with Eva? OMGWTFBBQ.

If it looks like Im bashing this film, I am. Im just jealous of the couples watching the show in the theatre with me. : )

Unsuccessful people focus their thinking on survival

To the future me,

Are you still living in poverty? Not in terms of materialistically but mentally as well? Do you know that the past 28 years and 8 months, I’m in poverty and thinking in poverty?

John C. Maxwell writes in his book “Thinking for a Change”

Unsuccessful people focus their thinking on survival

Average people focus their thinking on maintenance

Successful people focus their thinking on progress

How true that can be. I relate my own life as that of a survival mindset, going by a ‘minimalist‘ mindset, spending frugally, and never spending in excess of wastage. This came from an environment brought up where my parents were also conservatives; never taking holidays, never over-indulgening when it comes to food and lifestyle. It had an influence on me; I rarely changed things unless they were spoilt. In a way, I saved but I never wanted to have more or better. I was contented with what I have. But this lead to no progress in a certain way. All my jobs till now were non-permanent, either temp or full time but never permanent. My pay checks never rose above executive level. I didnt have the spending power to buy or indulge in excessive material items which i never needed anyway. It all came from a survival mindset. 

It is one thing to think that material gains are evil and that thriftness is the way to go and just being contented. But these are just both ends of two extremes. You can only understand how to incorporate a thrifty mindset in the midst of a abundance of wealth via the middle ground, not through the thoughts of ‘wealthy-is-evil-therefore-i-stick-to-forsaking-the-material-world’ from the mindset of surviving.

Surviving is good but it will never lead to progress. The key is to stay ground even when you have progressed and not let the meaningless temptations of the material world sway you almost excessively. 

I look at the second statement and I think, ‘oh shit, how true’. Alot of people are maintening their lifestyle, being the slave of always trying to catch up; where to eat, what upgrades to get, the next fashionable thing to follow. I never believe in following the herd and always almost try to look for something of value from the alternative. For example, I never never understood what the hype about iphone is about. Its overmarketed, too many people are carrying it and there are probably other devices that carries the same functionality. Its all a craze, cleverly designed by marketers to impose a trend-setting image among consumers. But back to the second statement, and I could see that although my friends are slaving away, they have gone to places, holidays where i never been, eat at places where their taste buds are like the rings on bull noses where they then tie a rope to lead you around with it. No, I dont have these ‘worldly’ or ‘locally’ experiences. And to be honest, sometimes it makes me look like I dont know anything at all. But i understand why im not doing that; i know it becomes an endless charade of trying to catch up, finding the next good eats, upgrading the wardrobe, deciding another new location to travel to. Lifestyle, lifestyle, lifestyle.

So what then is really important? Is chasing important? Some people like to experience things in their one lifetime. Some people give for others; like parents to a child, like a matyr to the unjusted. If you’re lucky to be born in an environment where you enjoy abundance of wealth, congrats. But its not wrong never to step out, never to enjoy just because you’re giving yourself to another. In the end, its the intentions, and every path will lead its own way.

Some people are maintaining their lifestyle at the expense of their health, relationship and sanity. Me? I want the glory, wealth, fame but without the degenerating health that comes along it. Guess one could never have it all. We have to give up something to get something. 

Stay in the ‘now’, will you? Have a general direction where you want to be but dont live in that future. Live in the present. Look around you, care for those around you. You never know if they will be here tomorrow.

A Night of Bliss, Memories, Envy and Awareness

To the me reading when I’m in my 30’s. 

I have just attended a wedding dinner the previous night. A gathering of old primary school friends and new people. A gathering of the old old and the new new. Yes, I saw bliss and glamor at the Wedding. It also reflected and reignited a sense of “oh-Shit-I’m-still-single-my-friend-is-married-tonight-and-almost-everyone-sitting-at-the-table-is-attached-or-married.” And then on the other hand, there are all the other side of the attractive female population within the ball. Surely one of them must be unattached and attracted to me? I only know roughly 5 other people outside of my table at the wedding. But I’m not the type to do PR between the tables. Its not MY Wedding. Haha.

Going by statistics, I reckon only 1 other friend from my poly days is single like me. Hm, the figures aren’t looking too kind for me. I guess its back to Facebook, Friendsters for the singles hunt.

The other thing that I noticed was that all my friends were doing quite well, all seems to have stable careers. My time will come surely. But at 28, it better come soon. Each day pasted is each day gone at this age. And alot of them writes in their profile the things they have done, places they have been. Where’s mine? I’ve robbed myself of my pre-prime and now i have catch up to be doing. I hope you’re successful in your career, with a stable, challenging job that takes you to places and see things, a wide array of friends of the opposite sex that you constantly keep in contact with and an attractive loved one that lady luck and destiny finally decided to bestow upon you, the 30 something me.

Pains and Pleasures of Motivation

Many people say they want to be successful and then their lives do not change. I believe the reason for this is because they really do not want success. Why? Because to be successful, we have to abandon the level of comfort we are presently living in. What people who talk about being successful are really saying is that they want to be successful without doing anything about it. And that is the problem. It’s a problem because in order to be successful, we must first be willing to do whatever it takes. That means we must be willing to endure a certain level of pain before achieving the desired goal. Success without commitment is impossible.

It’s not a lack of knowledge that prevents you from succeeding; it’s the power of motivation working against you. If someone is enjoying more success than you are, it’s because they’ve learned how to have the power of motivation work for them.

The key to having the power of motivation work for you is to control the two most basic experiences humans have – pain, and pleasure. 

When you can control pain and pleasure, you can follow through on the necessary process of achieving a goal. Anytime you fail to achieve a goal it’s because you have pain and pleasure working against you.

The Battle of Desires

“The starting point of all achievement is desire. Keep this constantly in mind. Weak desire brings weak results, just as a small amount of fire makes a small amount of heat.”
— Napoleon Hill

If we want to achieve the mental certainty that leads to success it is essential we begin controlling the fears that cause us to question our potential. You must have the sufficient desire to achieve this task above all. The key to tapping into the power of motivation is for us to have a radical awakening to what prevents us from achieving success, and then to have the requisite desire to overcoming these barriers.

Many of us are lost in helplessness and self doubt. Most of us spend our entire lives wondering how to tap into our potential. We lack the confidence that separates the winners from the also-rans. The problem is we don’t feel certain we can achieve our desired goals. We do not truly believe that the future will bring good tidings, that tomorrow will be better than today. If you have a sincere desire to attain a life worth living then the power of motivation will reveal answers to your deepest questions. When we fail to succeed it is important to ask ourselves: what went wrong?

To begin with, we must understand that our strongest desires overpower the weaker desires.

When someone fails to follow-through on their goals they associate pain to actions which will help them to reach those goals, and this in turn prevents them from taking action. Knowing what you want is perhaps the most important prerequisite to success. We need to understand why motivation is necessary to help you get there.

Only if we want success (your treasure) more than anything else will we even start making progress towards our desired goals.

You must have compelling reasons that will overpower your doubts, your comfort zone and your lack of confidence stemming from past failures. Otherwise you will face the common problem of procrastination. This means you are putting off the pain towards the future. All of this points to one singular problem: The pain of success. 

Desire to gain pleasure is not enough
Unless we can succeed in overcoming the pain of achieving success it will be impossible to reach your goals in life. The only way to properly understand motivation is to understand the nature of desire. There are two types of desire, the desire to gain pleasure and the desire to avoid pain. Out of the two, the strongest desire is to avoid pain. Pain is always a bigger motivator than pleasure. Understanding the power of fear is the first step to understanding motivation. The power of fear does two things for you:

1. Prevents you from taking action: This is how the power of motivation works against us. As long as we are not certain of our potential, we hesitate to take action. Unless you are able to overcome your fear of failure, you will naturally not progress from you present circumstances.
2. Motivates you to take action:In the same way that fear of failure prevents you from taking action, it can help you to move towards your major goals. The process is one in which you keep the commitments that you make to yourself. It is something which resembles a personal contract with yourself. We will explore this in greater detail later. What is important to note at this point is that fear is not always debilitating, if properly harnessed it can be a positive force in your life.

That’s why it’s important to make fear work for you, not against you. As long as fear works against you, you will be struggling to make progress towards your goals. Conversely fear, when properly handled, can be used by you to achieve success (whatever that means to you). When you recognize that the power of fear can be used to your advantage you will begin using it to create positive change. When you recognize the power of fear can be used to your advantage you can begin using it to create positive change.

The difference between the fear which blocks action, and the fear that motivates you to act, is the structure you build around fear and how it operates in your life. In one example fear (i.e. fear of losing money in an investment) causes you to stand-still, preventing you from taking action. In the second example, fear (losing money from breaking a promise to yourself) compels you to act and follow through on your personal objectives. Fear is so powerful because it is urgent and pressing. The truth is that desire inspires you, while fear compels you.You either use the power of fear or the power of fear uses you.

“Success doesn’t come to you…you go to it.”
— Marva Collins

If you want to be successful, if you want to be an achiever, then it is essential that you become interested in what it means when someone says; “Do whatever it takes to succeed.”. Now it’s important to understand that doing whatever it takes to succeed means a lot more than uttering a slogan.It means not quitting when times get tough. It means enduring great discomfort even when you don’t feel like it.It is difficult to do whatever it takes because the desire to succeed is usually not enough. If you are to do ”whatever it takes” you will require the necessary motivation. If we want to be successful then we cannot depend on the power of desire alone. It’s important to use fear to sustain motivation. That’s all there is to it. If you want to achieve your desired goals, the way to succeed is to use pain instead of allowing pain to use you.

Joke – Which animal is most dangerous to human beings?

Which animal is most dangerous to human beings?

Ans : Fried Chicke

Help Others

When you put your focus on others, good things will begin to happen to you.

Consider the people you like and respect the most, and I’d bet you’ll find that thinking of others is one of their strong points.

The truth is, our entire lives depend on others.

Once you realized that our need for interdependence, make it a priority to focus on others.

Perceptions In Relationships, The Reality

Consider the way you deal with someone you’re dating. When you first begin, it’s not uncommon to want to be with him or her every minute. If you want to keep their attention and build a lasting relationship, it will benefit you to apply the boy/girl theory. 

That means not being available all the time.

Too big a dose of anything – or anyone – detracts from the richness and pleasure that come from moderation.

When you’re not always available, it shows the other person that you have a life other than them and makes them appreciate you more.

It’s common knowledge that we want the things we can’t readily have, and often take for granted what we can have at will.

A healthy relationship requires that you have a variety of interests, and you’ll be better off occasionally doing things with members of your own gender, instead of going out every day with your boyfriend or girlfriend.

By having other interests and not being available every minute, you’ll be a more rounded and interesting individual, and the time you spend with the one you’re dating will be more special for both of you.

The same is true about talking on the phone, holding hands, and kissing. All of those are wonderful in moderation, but you lose some of their beauty and meaning by doing them all the time. 

Being a little unpredictable and independent is a good thing.

Not getting everything you want exactly when you want it is a good thing too. 

Anticipation is a big part of the excitement of life.

Don’t call every day, and don’t go out together every night.

Be thoughtful, kind, and considerate, but not available every second. 

The essence of the boy/girl theory is that people want what they can’t have easily. Someone who’s easy is often taken for granted and not shown proper respect or appreciation.

In relationships, being a little hard-to-get, a little aloof, and somewhat unpredictable, is a good thing.

Work On Yourself First

Until you’re on good terms with yourself, it’s unlikely you’ll be able to focus your attention on others.

Only those who like themselves can be friendly and generous with others.

Why do so many people not like themselves?

We don’t like ourselves when we do things we know we shouldn’t do.

One of the first steps to good mental health is doing things that make you feel good about yourself.

One thing that makes you feel best about yourself is giving to others.

Generally, you succeed with others to the degree that you make them feel important.

People act, or fail to act, largely to enhance their own egos. Through your use of courtesy you acknowledge the importance of others.

Give Others The Praise, Eliminate Criticism & Practice Praise

To have peace and happiness, we must become tolerant of others, letting their perceived faults go unless they directly affect us.

You might think you’re showing off your knowledge when you contradict people, but you’re actually making them feel unimportant. Learn to put the spotlight on others and give them center stage.

A common fault, and a sure way to lose with people, is trying to increase your own sense of importance by demeaning another.

People judge you less by your opinion of yourself than by your opinion of others, and your opinion of other things, like your job and your competition.

Learn to practice praise and eliminate criticism.